


Coming Out (again)

by Jack Wilson-Parker (spideymerc)



Series: Transparent [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Boys In Love, Coming Out, F/M, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Public Display of Affection, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-09 13:59:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16451285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideymerc/pseuds/Jack%20Wilson-Parker
Summary: "I can't do it Steve," He choked out, "I can't go dressed like this. I can't do it." Tony turned to face Steve, tugging on his bra straps, "I feel so uncomfortable."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [omelettedaddy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/omelettedaddy/gifts), [FriedChickenNisha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriedChickenNisha/gifts).



> Part four of Transparent  
> You can read by as a stand alone but I'd recommend reading the others first
> 
> This is the story that started the whole series off 
> 
> Gifting this to omelettedaddy and FriedChickenNisha because they've stuck with me through this whole series so far <3

Steve couldn't help but feel concerned when he heard sobs coming from the bathroom he shared with his partner. He stopped messing with his tie and walked towards the door, knocking lightly, "Tony, are you okay in there?" when he didn't answer but continued to sob, Steve turned the handle and almost sighed in relief when the door opened. 

He felt his heart break as he looked at his lover. He was staring in the mirror, hands gripping tightly at the sink, his perfect makeup ran down his cheeks, his once perfect hair was messed up as it fell past his shoulders.

He was stood in his underwear, the dress he was supposed to wear hanging up on the wall behind him.

"Tony?" Steve stayed in the doorway, not wanting to approach him just yet. 

"I can't do it Steve," He choked out, "I can't go dressed like this. I can't do it." Tony turned to face Steve, tugging on his bra straps, "I feel so uncomfortable." Steve felt his heart break further as he watched Tony break down, he opened his arms for him and Tony fell into them, gripping the tux Steve was wearing in his hands. 

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry. We can fix this, don't worry."

"I can't fix this, I'm broken."

"No, baby no, we've talked about this. You're not broken." Steve ran his fingers through Tony's hair, "You've never been broken."

"I don't feel right Steve, I'm a mess. I don't understand why you're still with me." Steve gripped him tighter. 

"Because you are perfect. You are beautiful and one day you will show everyone how brilliant of a man you are. My sweet boy, I love you. I have always loved you, ever since we first met back in college." Steve kissed the top of his head, "I've always been in love with the handsome man you are, my brilliant Tony."

"This isn't fair on you." Tony sobbed harder, "This just isn't fair on you."

"What isn't?"

"The fact that I don't look like the man in your drawings. That's who I want to be, that's who I am. But I'll never fully be him." Tony gripped onto Steve tighter, "I'm never going to fully be Anthony, I'm always going to be stuck as pretty little Antoinette."

"No, you're not. You are Anthony and it's about time the whole world knew of his existence."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I can't do that to the company, I couldn't do it to Pepper. The profits would fall dramatically, I know they would because who would believe in the company if they realised how messed up the owner is? You saw how badly stocks fell when I cut my hair," Tony said, "How would Pepper cope with all the attention this will bring up? How could I do that to her?"

"Tony, darling this has nothing to do with the company or Pepper this is all about you." Steve rubbed small circles into his hips, "This is about your happiness and you know Pepper has always been supportive, the company won't change and even if it does you'll be able to come out on top, you always do," Steve pressed his lips against Tony's temple, "You're still as brilliant, nothing will be any different. You're transgender, so what? You're still an absolute genius, nothing about you will change besides the fact you'll finally be comfortable in your own skin and isn't that what's important? Your happiness?"

"What happens if I lose everything? What happens then Steve?"

"Then I'll still love you, we'll use the savings to get you surgery and treatment. We'll move somewhere smaller, I can support us two with my wage even without my job are SI and if needed I can take on another job. We can put money away and we can still get married. Nothing will change, you'll still be my Tony with or without Stark Industries." Tony looked up at Steve, a small smile on his face.

"Really?"

"Really, when I told you I didn't need all the materialistic things that come with being with you I meant it, all I need is you," Steve kissed his nose, "Tony you're my whole world. Nothing can change that." Tony bit his lip and closed his eyes. It took a few moments before he opened them again. 

"I want to do it. The surgery and treatment I mean." Steve couldn't help but smile. 

"You do?"

"I don't want to be this anymore. I want to finally stare in the mirror and be happy with what I see and I think I can do that if you're by my side." Tony's eyes looked large and hopeful. 

"I'll always be by your side," Steve held Tony's left hand and brought it up to his mouth, kissing the ring on his finger, "I want to marry you, of course I'll be by your side every step of the way."

"I just wanted to make sure, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable? Tony, why would you think that?"

"I don't want the fact I would no longer be, uh, female in a sense to put you off."

"Baby, listen to me okay?" Tony nodded, "I love you. You as in Tony Stark. Anthony Stark. That man, the man who I sketch, the man I see every time you look at me. To me you've never been Antoinette and you never will be. To me you are the man I fell in love with. Your body doesn't affect my love for you. I want this for you, I want you to be happy." tears formed in Tony's eyes as he listened. 

"Thank you. Steve, thank you so much." Tony stood up on his tiptoes to press a kiss against his fiancé's lips, mumbling a quiet mantra of 'thank you'.

Steve pulled back, he pressed one chaste kiss against Tony's lips before saying: "I have a surprise for you."

This peaked Tony's interest, "You do? What is it?"

"Wait right here, close your eyes, I'll go get it." Tony shut his eyes quickly, giggling softly in excitement. 

Steve left the bathroom and walked to their closest. It opened and he walked inside going to the very back, hidden among his suits was a smaller one. One he'd been hiding for a time like this. 

He romoved it from the rack and picked up the shoe box underneath and went back to the bathroom. Tony still had his eyes shut and was still giggling softly and Steve had to smile more, it was much nicer seeing Tony excited than crying. 

It hurt to say that it was common to see Tony crying over how he looked. It took so long for him to come out to Steve when they started dating because of his parents not finding it in their hearts to accept that their "little girl" wasn't really their daughter but their son he never told anyone else besides his small group of friends in fear of ruining the company despite it ruining Tony inside. 

Howard always had a way of convincing Tony to stay hidden even after he died. It made Steve sick. 

Tony was miserable and Steve knew no matter how hard he tried he'd never fully be happy if Tony had to remain as Antoinette for the rest of his life. He couldn't imagine the disappointment Tony would feel on their wedding day if he had to travel down the alter in a wedding dress. 

Steve hung the suit up next to the dress, placing the box on the floor. He stood behind Tony and turned him to face the wall, "Open your eyes."

Tony gasped. Steve watched the reaction on his face and felt nervous when Tony looked frozen. Tony wouldn't stop staring at the tux in front of him, next to the dress he was expected to show up in.

He walked towards it and felt the material in his hands, "Is this... _Mine_?"

"It is."

"You bought me a tux?"

"Only if you want it, if it's not your style I'm so..." Steve couldn't finish his sentence because he had a sudden handful of Tony. The smaller man had his legs wrapped around his waist and his arms around his neck, Steve held him tightly. 

"Thank you, oh my God Steve, thank you so much." he nuzzled his head into his neck, "I love it. I love it so much, can I wear it tonight?" Steve laughed softly. 

"That's why I brought it out, I thought that maybe you'd want to be Tony tonight." Tony leaned back. 

"You mean, like, show up to the fundraiser in a tux and my binder?"

"Only if you're comfortable, I won't force you."

"What about the company? The press will have a field day... Everyone will be so shocked."

"It's up to you, but you know my opinion." Tony was quiet for a moment. 

"Will you help me get ready?" Steve smiled and kissed his nose. 

"Of course." Tony wriggled slightly and Steve put him down, watching as he began to rummage through a draw and pulled out a hair tie and scissors, "What are you doing?" he asked as Tony tied his hair up in a pony tail. 

"You said you would help me," He handed the scissors to Steve, "I want you to cut my hair."

"I'm not a hairdresser Tony."

"I want you to do it, I want you to cut it off and I can donate it to a charity who makes the wigs for kids with cancer. They need it more than I do, I don't want it. I want you to cut my hair, besides it'll mean more to me if you do it; whenever I've done it I let it grow back, having you do it makes it feel more final." Steve found himself unable to argue against that. 

"If that's what you want." he said taking the scissors from Tony. 

"It is." Tony stood in front of him, facing the mirror. Steve ran his fingers through the pony tail before holding it near the tie. 

"You ready?" he asked bringing the scissors above the bobble so the blades were on either side. 

"I'm ready." Tony held his breath as Steve began to cut. He felt his head become lighter as Steve held up the 12" length of hair and Tony felt his eyes water again, "Keep cutting." Steve placed the hair on the side and went back to the draw. When he came back he held a comb in his hands and began to cut Tony's hair into a more choppy style. When he was done the look of bliss on Tony's face was enough to make his heart melt. 

"Is it okay?"

"Oh Steve..." Tony ran a hand through his hair, "I love it so much." Steve helped wipe the hair off his shoulders. 

"I'm glad," He kissed his cheek, "Shall I grab the binder?" Tony nodded and Steve put away the scissors and comb and left the bathroom to go to their draws. He opened the bottom draw and removed Tony's chest binder and a pair of his socks and boxers. He shut the draw and stood up, walking back into the bathroom. He placed the items on the counter and watched as Tony's eyes lit up in fear and joy,

"Everything will be fine darling, I was just wondering," Steve put his hands on Tony's shoulders, "Would you like to use the prosthetic? It's up to you." Tony seemed to debate it in his head before nodding. Steve squeezes his shoulders gently before moving to the cupboard where they kept Tony's prosthetic penis. The first one was a gift from Steve on Tony's 21st birthday, he was scared to give him it incase it wasn't what Tony wanted. He was thrilled when Tony had cried with so much happiness, thanking him over and over again for being so thoughtful and understanding. They had already been dating for four years by then. The prosthetic had been changed a few times over the years, he got the newest model for his 26th birthday earlier this year. 

He brought it over and placed it on the side with the rest of the stuff. Steve placed his hands on Tony's hips and kissed his shoulder as he helped him out of the underwear he was originally wearing, Tony kept staring into the mirror as if he couldn't stop looking at the transformation that was happening. Steve helped him put on the prosthetic with practiced ease, fastening the harness so it stayed comfortable on Tony. He couldn't help but catch the smile forming on Tony's face; it was heartwarming. 

He helped Tony into the plain boxers next, resting the band on his hips and rubbed small circles there before moving to unhook his bra.

Tony always hated his chest, he hates it more than his lack of penis because it made him feel so wrong and uncomfortable.

Steve dropped the bra onto the floor and watched the smile falter slightly on Tony's face. Steve was quick to pick up the binder and help Tony put it on. He fastened it up at the side and allowed Tony to readjust his breasts so that it sat comfortably and he didn't feel restricted. All this became almost natural to them now, Steve helping Tony become Tony on the outside.

Steve moved over to grab the tux, not giving the dress another look. He carefully helped Tony into the pants, fastening them and then helping him into the dress shirt. He could feel Tony shaking as he buttoned it up and tucked it into his pants. 

Tony carefully put on the jacket and Steve helped him with his tie before grabbing the makeup wipes and cleaning the dried makeup off of his cheeks and grabbed his hair gel so he could style Tony's hair for him. When he was done he took a step back to allow Tony to take it all in.

Steve watched as Tony's eyes widened and a smile made it onto his face. He held his hand out to Steve who gladly took it and stood beside him in front of the mirror. 

"Now it's perfect." he whispered. 

"You look gorgeous Tones, you look so happy." Tony smiled wider and Steve could see the tears in his eyes. 

"I am... Steve, I'm never going to know how to repay you."

"You don't need to repay me. Tony I didn't do this for myself, I did this for you so you could be happy." Tony squeezed his hand. 

"Thank you." he turned to face Steve, "I love you so much."

"I love you too." he kissed Tony's lips gently, "Come on, put your shoes on. The world has got to meet Tony." 


	2. Chapter 2

Tony was shaking so baldy that Steve was scared he was going to have a panic attack, "Babe, it's okay. We don't have to do this, we can tell Pepper you're not well and she can collect the award for you." Tony shook his head,

"No, I want to do this I'm just... I'm just scared okay."

"That's understandable."

"You can't leave me. Not even for a second."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"I'm being serious, if I turn around to see you've left my side at any point I will hunt you down and stab you."

"Babe, calm down, I'm not going to be anywhere but at your side." Tony nodded. 

"Then let's go." They both climbed out of the car and grasped each others hands tightly as the flash of the media greeted them. It seemed to take them several moments to realise that Steve hadn't turned up with someone else, that it was Tony he was with.

They both ignored the questions as they walked up the steps towards the venue.

"Miss Stark, any comment on receiving the Green Energy award?"

"Antoinette, what happened to the Valentino dress you were supposed to turn up in tonight?"

_Miss Stark. Miss Stark. Miss Stark._

_Antoinette. Antoinette. Antoinette_. 

Steve could see Tony flinch at every mention of his birth name and wrong pronouns and it made him mad. Couldn't they see that this was _Tony_? Not Antoinette? Not Miss Stark? This was Anthony and he looked gorgeous. 

They met Pepper at the entrance and she gasped as soon as she laid eyes on Tony, her eyes watered as she looked at him.

"Tony..."

"I know. I'm sorry, I should have warned you that I wasn't going to wear that dress. I should have warned you that Antoinette wasn't turning up. I am so sorry, I made a mis-"

"You look so handsome." she said, cutting off his ramblings and Tony paused. He allowed the words to sink in and he smiled.

"You think so?"

"Yes, God Tony. You look amazing, you look so happy."

"I feel it, I mean I also feel shit scared but I'm happy." he squeezed Steve's hand and Steve squeezed back. 

Pepper hugged Tony tightly, trying not to cry at how natural Tony looked, "You're so amazing." Tony was blushing by the time she pulled away and moved to hug Steve, "Thank you so much." she whispered, "He couldn't have done this without you."

"It was no hassle at all, he deserves to be happy." Pepper pulled away and nodded. She wiped her eyes.

"Come on, everyone else is waiting inside."

When they walked inside Tony could sense all the eyes turning to face him, most of them in shock. He heard the whispers ad he walked towards his group of friends. 

Natasha was the first to notice, whispering ' _oh my god_ ' as she went to greet Tony with a hug.

Clint's jaw dropped, Bruce smiled fondly, Sam and Bucky almost in tears saying that their 'little boy is all grown up' and Thor let out a boisterous 'hurrah'.

Steve couldn't help but smile at the whole scene before him, glad that Tony had friends who would care for him as he was.

"Tony, you're looking hot man." Clint said once Natasha had pulled away after whispering how good he looked.

"Are you hitting on me Barton? You do know I'm engaged to be married right?" Tony said with a smirk, Steve noticed he was relaxing fully for the first time since they arrived.

"Oh man, looks like I missed my chance. I'll just have to stick to my sexy Russian instead," Natasha swatted his arm. 

"You're only, like, nine years too late," Bruce said, "He's only been dating Steve since he was, what, seventeen?"

"Not my fault Tony and I had to part ways, we did plan to elope years ago, you just missed how amazing we looked Brucie." Clint said. 

"Obviously I didn't miss too much considering Tony is still with Steve and I've never once seen you get close enough to him to elope." Clint laughed at him, everyone slowly joining in even though it wasn't that funny. It was just a nice atmosphere and laughing just felt appropriate. 

"Hey Mister, nice suit," Tony turned around quickly, his smile widening as he saw his best friend, James Rhodes standing behind him. 

"Rhodey!" He let go of Steve's hand to throw himself into a hug with Rhodey; the sight really made Steve's heart melt, "I thought you said you couldn't make it?"

"Change of plans. It didn't feel right not being there for you when you were receiving this award." Rhodey said, "I'm glad I came, I wouldn't want to miss your first appearance as Tony in public. I like your hair, you finally cut it again, huh, it suits you."

"Thank you, Steve did it for me and this time I'm making sure I keep it short," Tony smiled wider, giving Rhodey one final squeeze before stepping back. He had tears in his eyes again and he turned back to Steve, ultimate joy written on his face. They both knew that others around then we're whispering harsh words behind their back but the happy atmosphere their friends had formed seem to make Tony feel safer like nothing could really happen.

Steve took his hand in his own again as people began to take their seats at the dinner table. They followed their friends and sat down together, Steve kept his promise and stayed right beside Tony just like he knew he always would. 

He could barely focus on the food in front of him when they finally started serving, all he could stare at was Tony and how happy he looked in public for the first time. 

"Hey, Tony?" Steve said, interuppting the conversation between his fiancé and Thor. 

"Yeah babe?" he asked, turning to look at him. 

"I love you." Tony smiled. 

"I love you too." 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is! The final chapter for this part  
> Thank you for sticking with me this far, next instalment will be up soon

"And finally, I'd like to introduce you to our guest of honour, Miss Antoinette Stark." the speaker said, Tony grimaced as he stood up and walked towards the front of the room. His friends cheering loudly as the whole room clapped for him. He shook hands with the speaker and took the award from him. The speaker moved to the side and Tony spent several moments just staring at the award before looking around the room. He caught Steve's eye and smiled before beginning to talk. 

"I never actually planned a speech for this. I mean, well I did but when do I ever stick to those cards? I felt that I could ignore them easier if I left them at home," laughter filled the room for a small while, "My speech was going to be full of thanks, full of words about how thankful I am to be able to achieve such an award like this because it's honestly an honour to even have been considered a good enough man to have been nominated, let alone actually win it. I take great pleasure in knowing that this award symbolises that somewhere out there, I made a difference in this world."

Not only was my speech full of these thanks but I also changed it last minute in order to answer the questions you most definitely have. I've heard them; where's Stark's dress? Why is she dressed like that? What had she done to her hair? Well, the real answer is I've finally decided that it's time to truly show you all who I am. Antoinette Stark never existed, well she did according to my birth certificate but technically she wasn't a real person to me. For as long as I can remember I've never been comfortable in my own body. I knew I was different but whenever I told someone they brushed it off as just being tomboyish. But that wasn't true. I later in life realised that I wasn't feeling like I looked right was because I didn't. Antoinette should have been born Anthony."

I, Tony Stark, am transgender and I'm finally coming out to you all as the man I truly am. Antoinette is gone and I will no longer pretend to be the woman I was never born to be."

And yes, you will all be aware that I am in a current long term relationship with Steve Rogers. That hasn't changed, he loves me for me and I couldn't ask for a better man in my life, he's been nothing but supportive and without him I would never have have found the courage to come out to you all tonight."

You know, I first met Steve when I was only seventeen at a coffee shop by mistake. The best mistake of my life but you've all probably heard this story before, I'm fond of telling it. But, this isn't about how I first met him. When we did meet I told him I was Antoinette, it took me six months of dating to come out as trans to him because I was scared, I loved him so much I was scared he'd leave me if I knew. Growing up I had to be careful who I told, certain people didn't take it so well and I've been called such horrible names, I was made to believe I was some form of freak and I didn't want to lose Steve because he thought the same. But my dear beloved Pepper told me 'one day you'll be able to show the world who you are and I believe that on that day Steve will still be stood beside you.' and in all honesty, I was an idiot because I didn't believe her. Not one bit. But she was right, as always, I am stood here today coming out with my fiancé by my side... Well at my table but it still counts, and I need to thank him because I don't think he'll ever know how much I love him or how much I appreciate his support. I love you Steve Rogers, thank you. I am Tony Stark and I am proud to say that I am transgender and gay. I am proud to be open to you all despite the fact I'm stood here basically shitting myself as I show you who I really am. I am proud to say that I'm donating my hair to a charity that makes wigs for kids with cancer. I'm proud to say that every item of woman's clothing I own; every dress, every shoe and skirt and shirt I own will be donated to women who need them more than I do."

I am proud to stand before you all today, accepting this award as Tony Stark. I'm proud of who I am and what I've achieved, the fact I manged to turn my father's company from weapons to clean energy has been the biggest achievement of my life. Now this is my next biggest one."

Antoinette Stark is no more, I want you all to meet me, I'm Anthony Stark and I am proud of who I am."

Steve couldn't help but stand up as he started applauding Tony's speech, he was quickly followed by the rest of his friends. Soon, it couldn't have been longer than thirty seconds, he had the whole room standing up applauding him and crying over his moving piece. 

Tony felt his eyes water and he would have cursed himself for crying so much if he wasn't so damn happy. 

Steve walked up onto the stage, he wrapped his arms around Tony's waist and dipped him, Tony was smiling widely as Steve pressed his lips firmly against Tony's. He heard wolf whistles which most likely came form Sam, Bucky and Clint. 

"I am so proud of you Tony," Steve said as he pulled back, "Marry me?" Tony laughed. 

"I already am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just a giant speech, I didn't even notice


End file.
